The Best Interests of the Child - Family Dispute Resolution
If you have dealt with a family matter or are in the process, you have probably heard the phrases, “in the best interests of the children” or “the best interests of the child” used so many times. These phrases get tossed back and forth and sometimes it is unclear if people know what they mean or if they are used in the right context. It all sort of loses real meaning, sometimes they just sound like a bunch of words that people hold on to; to just throw out there. I wonder if parents take the time to think of what might actually be in the best interests of their children in a very practical and simplistic way.
What does a child need in their life to grow and thrive?
To be loved - by as many people in the child’s ‘village’ as possible. Remember it takes a village to raise a child.
To be taught - values and whatever type of education that is important to you, including formal and informal. Remember children are like blank canvases and you imprint on them what you want them to learn from day one. Eventually they will learn a lot more from the rest of the world, but it all starts at home, so try and get that part right.
To be nurtured - similar to teaching them, nurturing is how you actually raise your children, how you respond to them, how you protect them, what attitudes you show them. And….. in comes the age old argument of nature vs nurture and what wins, is it in the genes or is it in the way we actually raise our children that they turn out to be who they are? I’m not sure they have quite figured that one out yet, but I would like to think a bit of both, but to a larger extent the latter.
To be protected - so that they are not in harm’s way physically, psychologically and emotionally. In so doing, they know they can turn to you when they feel threatened. If they have been harmed they know who to confide in, and to trust that you will do the right thing to keep them safe, so no further harm will come to them.
To be encouraged - so that they feel validated for their achievements and feel that they are not a let-down when they face challenging or teachable moments. Remember every loss is a teachable moment, children (and adults alike), can only learn and grow from it.
If you are dealing with a family matter, it’s important to come back to basics and think about some of these things from a practical stand-point. What does your child need in the short term, and in the long term, to be the best version of themselves.